Daily Flash Fiction Challenge 122: Meadow Hell

This is the 122nd in a series of 365 Flash Fiction stories I’m writing. You can find out more about the challenge here.

Meadow Hell, by Jonathan L. Lawrence, 1st April 2013

Word count: 278

The story:

“You must be joking,” the police officer said.

“Do I look like I’m joking?” the army sergeant said, “Someone’s stolen a nuclear missile.”

“That’s why we need your help, there are teams coming in from all over the UK, but we have to get moving now,” the sergeant said.

“Okay, okay, what does it look like?”

“Are you joking now?” the sergeant asked, unamused, “It’s long and pointy, on a flatbed truck.”

The police officer turned away and used his radio to call dispatch. “Your kidding?” the police sergeant said, “And you’re sure? I don’t believe this.”

“What is it?” the army sergeant demanded.

“Three soldiers with it?” the policeman asked.

“Yes they’re missing too,” the sergeant said.

“Could have mentioned that, though I’ll grant you a missing nuclear warhead probably does take precedence,” the police officer said with no particular sense of urgency.

“Thankfully it’s not got a war head,” the sergeant said. “Now what did they just tell you?”

“Oh yes,” the policeman said, as if just remembering, “Three men in fatigues are currently arguing with a traffic warden about an illegally parked massive truck in the Meadowhall.”

“Your kidding? This is no time to be joking? Is it true?” the sergeant demanded in a torrent of questions.

“I’ve told the police officers in their way there to detain them there,” the policeman said, “If you hurry, I’m sure you can diffuse the situation.”

The sergeant rushed off to his Land Rover, leaving the police station without stopping to say thanks or even bye.

The policeman went to tell the whole station, not that anyone would believe the army had misplaced a nuclear missile in Meadowhall.

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