Daily Flash Fiction Challenge 118:

This is the 118th in a series of 365 Flash Fiction stories I’m writing. You can find out more about the challenge here.

I Can Haz Burger the Story, by Jonathan L. Lawrence, 28th March 2013

Word count: 464

Note: I really enjoyed writing this, and I decided not add words to get it to the 500 minimum – until I’ve caught up, I’m releasing that particular rule, and just keeping the 1,000 maximum.

The story:

There’s a time and a place for anything and everything. Peeing your pants in fear is normally preserved for childhood, so it came as quite a surprise to Jackson Miller when he found his pants warm and hot. However it was a minor injury, what brought him to the wet pants club was foremost in his mind.

He wasn’t the only one, seven overs were stood at the bus stop that fateful winters night. None could cope with what they saw, for the rest of their lives it would haunt their nightmares, and would be seen frequently out of the corner of their eyes when they least expected. Thus was the horror the entity instilled in those that saw it.

“Hello,” It said menacingly, “My name is ggsduphxsf, but you can call me Simon.”

It was too much for two of the seven they ran away screaming.

“Was it something I said?” the entity asked with pure malevolence.

Jackson found himself screaming in terror.

“Oh now that’s just mean,” the entity said his words dripping with menace.

Two more broke and run, leaning Jackson, an old woman battling a heart attack, yet held on her feet by the fear of what the entity would do to her.

“Let’s start again, my name’s Simon and I’m pleased to make your acquaintance,” the entity said, it’s words burning the soul of all who heard them. “What’s your name?” the entity gestured to Jackson with its unspeakable claw.

Jackson found that now was the time and the place to drop to the floor sobbing, overcome by terror.

“I’m not sure I can pronounce that,” the creature said blood curdlingly. “Which is strange, the Internets suggested I would be able to pronounce the names here. Do you mind if I call you Jeff? I do so like the name Jeff, it rolls off the tongue,” the creature said in a rumbling menacing growl.

The old woman gave up, the sheer terror too much to handle, she collapsed to the sweet relief of death.

The other man, who had been spared the absolute worse terror by being the furthest away, could contain himself no more, he turned and ran. He only got a few paces before he crashed to the ground, passed out.

Jackson found some little strength and got himself to a sitting position only to be met by those menacing slit like eyes of the entity.

“Well Jeff, it was lovely to meet you, I must be going now,” the ever growing menace of the words over came Jackson and he passed out sitting, involuntarily vomiting the days lunch over himself.

The giant black and white cat turned, looked upwards, and leapt into the air, and kept on going until it was our of sight, travelling straight up.

Author: jllegend

Aye, there's the rub. Difficult to sum up succinctly. Crazy, most definitely. Funny, hopefully. Lovely, certainly. Interesting, essentially.

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