It’s pretty short (even for my poetry), but it sumises how I feel about the event.

Ninety Percent

It scares the hell out of me,
Ninety percent to thirty gone,
Watershed is fast approaching,
Time marches with a lustful glee,
My time to shine already shone,
Growing up soon unreproachable.

©, Jonathan Lawrence 2009

Given that I’m avoiding the office for four days, what better time to post this poem? It’s about the working day after all.

Lines on Office Work
Put on the suit,
Brush off the lint,
Mental note for dry cleaning,
It’s off to work we go.

But not so quick,
Crush the war cry,
Temporal anomalies at work,
It’s a bus missed you burk.

Nut in the plural,
Shush the inner voice,
Gentle hope in the later bus,
It’s a minor tragedy.

Cut to the office,
Lush surroundings, not,
Crystal clear emotionless lines,
It’s not to be rushed for.

Strut your stuff,
Gush of fake enthusiasm,
Dental included for health,
It’s all in a days work.

Tut at mistakes,
Rush to do reports,
Bestial work striving for creativity,
It’s time to leave.

©, Jonathan Lawrence 2009

I think I need a crisis, I had a crisis this time last year, and coming out of that crisis I started writing again. However, the new improved me deals with problems a lot better, so few even get close to a minor crisis, never mind the life altering ones from last year.

I am now quite scared of NaNoWriMo looming over me, I’ve got the ideas, but without the ability to actually write, it’s fairly meaningless.

I could create a crisis, however that doesn’t fit with the new me that works hard not to get life in a state. I’ve gotten into pretty bad financial trouble this year (after years of owing no more than £400 at anyone time), however I’ve even dealt with that so that I’ll be debt free again in by this time next year, and am comfortable with that.

I could quit my job, which does have double benefits, it would be a major crisis, I wouldn’t be able to fix easily, and I would have time to write. However, I’d have nothing to write on, never mind anywhere to actually write – so possibly a level of crisis too far.

Likely, it’s still temporary, and that once November hits, I’ll be flying. I’m actually planning on doing something insane for NaNoWriMo (assuming I can find the ability to write again), and that is enter NaNoWriMo twice. That’s right, I’m aiming for the 100,000 words in a month bracket. I’ll be doing it with two different stories – however I personally feel that 100,000 in a month, on one story, that could retain 75% to 85% of it’s words after editing, might be worth pursuing. I was tempted to do it one story, however, I worry that I’ll balk under the challenge and settle for 50,000, I don’t want to settle. With two entries, settling is still a win and a failure, to have a true win, have to achieve both.

What I’ll aim to do, is get the first one complete in the first fortnight, and the second in the second fortnight, so I’m not having to switch between stories (which I can do, but might cause problems).

For now though, I’d settle for some good writing for the rest of September, and through October.

Another problem with writers block, it forces you to analyse every idea, as you seek the in roads to it, that will allow you to translate imagination to words on a page.

I just had a brilliant idea for a poem, for about a second, before I realised it’s a subject that’s been more than adequately covered in myth and legend.

There was tiny spider (but with long thin legs) in the bath, and it was stuck, but kept trying to get up the sides. It’d get so far, and then fall, but used it’s web to limit it’s fall, then tried again, then the web broke – so it started over, and nearly gets to the top, and then falls again.

Eventually, it drifts along the length of the path, trying to find a decent climb, and it makes it! I actually felt quite happy for it (even as I don’t have any like for spiders after being bitten by one, yuck). Then the damned thing, not satisfied with it’s monumental climb (they’re not after all known for escaping baths), then proceeded to climb a shampoo bottle. It must have realised it was disappointing when it get to the top, as it got back down again. Teetered on the edge of going back in the both, but instead choose to use the grouting to climb up to the ceiling instead.

It was amazing to watch. Unfortunately, it’s already a well observed phenomeon, kind of – Robert the Bruce famously is supposed to have seen a spider trying, and failing, then trying again, to get a web from one side of a cave to another, and it inspired him to try again and rebel against Edward. He still failed, but the moral is no less true.

As I said, it was amazing to watch – even more amazing, aside from this ickle spider, there was a much bigger spider (where the ickle one had legs no thicker than a hair, this had legs that were like 0.5mm – and a much bigger body and mandibles that were very visible (shudders). To be fair, I suspect they were the same breed, but probably the bigger one was considerably older (I believe a week might be descriptive enough of age in the life cycle of a spider – but I’m no arachnologist afterall), just sat there watching. I couldn’t decide if it was keeping the little spider as an emergency meal for later, or not. After the little spider escaped the bath, it turned and was facing the wall (it had been facing the length of the bath for the entire time little spider had been trying to escape), so I wonder if it was thinking, damn – if only I were smaller, and lighter, with legs that could find every tiny bump and gap to get me up – I could make it. Or maybe it was just cursing it’s luck, as the little spider succeeded, while it had sat and done bugger all.

Well there you go, like Robert the Bruce (allegedly), that little spider has inspired me too – because I’ve written a few words. Maybe I will write a poem about the two spiders… it’s a subject that may have been covered, (but then, lets face it what hasn’t?), but it was a pretty major thing for me.

I love moments like that, I once wrote down a few pages about a pigeon with a clubbed foot that I saw at the train station while travelling to work once. Still have it, might share that too. In fact, I think I might share inspirational animal stories everyday next week, I’m feeling well and truly inspired.

Thanks for reading, if you did

JL Legend
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I’m not exactly the last of the great travellers, but I do love it. I’m away for the weekend, second weekend in a row – which explains why most of my poetry today has centred round travel.

This poem is about the little differences between "there" and home. It was just quickly jotted down, but I like it for its faults, it is after all silly sentiment, about unimportant things, unless you are the one having the experiences.

Its a Slightly Strange World Out There

Isn’t travel funny,
Lot’s of things are the same,
But the little things profane,
No guide wheels on buses,
My accent creating fusses,
Same brand shops,
But trading later stops,
History seems all around,
Yet only as rich,
As homeward bound,
Isn’t travel funny.

©, Jonathan L. Lawrence, September 2009

It is however worthwhile, it’s a talent stretching challenge, and I thoroughly loved/hated participating last year. I really struggled at first, I had the fantastic idea I needed, I had all the equipment I could want or need, but writing to a target did not sit well with me.

My writing was not so much a halting linear growth of word count – more an exponential curve. With two thirds of the word count coming in the last week. As I’ve mentioned in previoys posts, I manged it. It was an amazing feeling to finish.

It’s nearly time to put myself through the torture again. I am more wary this year, last year I wrote quite a bit, this year though, my fiction word count probably hasn’t breached seven thousand. I set myself a word count target of two hundred thousand for the year. My only hope of a respectable showing would be to do fifty thousand words a month for the last three months. If I could write, I’d be happy with this, it would be over three quarters – but on the basis I haven’t written much, is that plausible?

I shouldn’t care, i should just do it, it’s only for my own pride, it’s not a promise to anyone else.

I do have something I want to do, it’s a piece of fic for a friends birthday, so going to get started on that. My aim, thirty thousand words in two weeks – now that’s a challenge. Let’s see what happens. Fingers crossed.

If you’re interested in NaNoWriMo, it’s here: nanowrimo.org. If you lkike writing, pressure, and the sweet smell of success, check it out.

There are two sets of toolboxes, since poetry and writing do require different things for me. There are also categories within toolbox, from books, to stationary, to software.

I’m going to look at some of the things in my toolboxes, things that are special to me, or are especially useful to me.

Books

First and foremost, as a writer I have a dictionary. Actually I have a few, but the one I use the most, and is my long term favourite is my Collins English Gem Dictionary. Now I inherited this from a clear out at a place I worked, and my immediate thought was ooh old book. I love old books, and make a point of checking charity shops for anything of particular interest, usually over fifty years old, and especially if they have some sort of message in them. This dictionary is from 1954, which I find especially useful. Modern dictionaries have far more words and definitions, but they also have far more modern words, and Americanisms, and other things that slip into the language. It takes time to distill some of these, and get out what you want. This dictionary lacks that, the definitions are usually brief, but to the point, the words are always clear, and you can usually find the word you’re looking for very quickly. It’s also old, battered, and has what appears to be a faded dedication to someone called “Peggy Sue”, which I love – it’s a love message. Even though it is old and battered, and will eventually be unable to do much without falling apart, I do love this book – and though I could have any number of fancy modern dictionaries – this will always be used before them.

Next up, is the trusty thesaurus. Important if you’re a writer, there’s nothing worse than repeating the same word over and over, your reader will get bored and wonder off – repetition is powerful, but only when used correctly. A good thesaurus saves you from this. It’s vital, in my opinion, if you’re a poet who wants to rhyme, and avoid repetition. I don’t have anything fancy for a thesaurus, I have the internet most of the time, so mine is just a cheap one that came as a boxset of books that enrich my writing (they are reference books on business, medical, grammar, spelling, computing, quotations, and science), it does it’s job, and it does it well. The advantage of it being cheap, and cheerful, is they use crap paper – which means it’s lighter, so travels better, and strangely lasts longer, the spine is still intact after years of attack.

Next of course is the trusty encyclopedia – where would I be without my encyclopedia? My knowledge would be poorer, my sponge of a brain would be soaking up football scores, and team statistics, rather than the depth of the pacific ocean (11,033 metres at it’s deepeset point, for the record). Now mine isn’t particular big or clever, it’s effectively a book of notes, it’s the DK Concise Encyclopedia, it gives me enough to enrich detail in my writing, so when a character mentions he’s going to Honalulu, he can give some piece of information to validate this. If I need to talk about the history of cars, I’ve got bits and pieces of the history of cars to through in, to make my fictional account of the history of cars that bit more believable. I’m actually on the market for a new encyclopedia, but it’s for staying at home (my concise one again travels well, though thicker quality paper is heavier). I do use digital encyclopedia’s, but they are of less interest, and mentioned later.

The last book I want to cover is my Usborne Illustrated Dictionary of Science, I write a lot of science fiction, and this is invaluable, it’s more specific than my encyclopedia and has much more detail. Now, this book I got in primary school, it was published in 1988, so it’s not what you would describe as up to date – but it has enough detail, and theory to fill out my pages and give them credibility. I’ve learnt an awful lot since then, but the basics haven’t changed much, how atoms react, the law of physics, how a crystal forms and grows,  and such still are relevant. It’s an immensely powerful tool, even at twenty years old. If something isn’t up to date, I know enough to find out more recent information, but this book feeds my search queries. It’s not just science fiction it’s good for, there are thrillers, and fantasy that I have worked on, to which I am indebted to this books writers. Science is everywhere, and is in everything – from the pathology of a murder scene, to the manouveres of a fighter pilot, to the beginning and end of pregnancy, and aging. Miss out on those details, and your stories credibility just falls flat on it’s face.

Those are the books I wanted to mention, there are others, many others from study guides, to biographies (which often contain rich how to’s in their nostalgic memories of writing this or that), pamphlets, educational supplements, and general English guides. I don’t think you can ever have too much reference for writing, and to that end I would encourage any aspiring writer or poet to set aside shelf space for them. Then double that shelf space because you’ll want a whole shelf of product, other people’s writings, anthologies, magazines etc…

Stationary

Now here’s one that’s hard to cover – I’m a bit of a pen fiend*, so I have lots of pens. I can barely walk by a store like the sadly departed Woolworths, without buying a multi-pack.

Multi-packs are important for the range they give you, and their disposability, though unless it’s an upmarket set, they’re not known for their reliability. That’s fine for the travelling writer though, trust me, if you lose a £20 fountain pen (unless you’ve got more money than sense), you will be gutted. I always have some cheap pens on me, if someone needs a pen, that is what I lend them. If I’m writing in a really crowded spot, such as on a busy train or bus, then it’s cheap pens – you don’t want to feel obliged to crawl among people’s legs, getting knocked, stood on, insulted, and laughed at for dropping a pen. Not nice.

My most valued pen, at the moment, is my titanium Parker Jotter, clearly I needed something that would survive more G forces than your average stainless steel Parker Jotter. Anyway, it’s really just a nice, comfortable, good weighted ball point pen. It’s brushed titanium, but very smooth all the same, yet I’m always amazed it doesn’t sleep around alot, which other metal pens tend to do.

If I want to write something a bit more fanciful, I tend to turn to my fountain pen, this is a Parker Contact Purple fountain pen. I bought it because it’s quite cheap, quite different looking, but most of all very comfortable to handle.  I do this because the Parker Jotter is a very practical kind of pen, and is conducive to sensible writing, and scribblings – however I find fountain pens produce, in me, more artist writing. I firmly believe there is psychology in the choice of pen.

After that, I have an array of pens that have been gifts, or I’ve just fancied (actually lots of those), most of which have purposes too specific to go into**

Then I’ve got must have’s of pencils (various grades), rules, erasers, tippex, a hobby knife, Pritt Stick, sticky tape, post it and post it tabs, these are all part of my kit. They help me create characters and stories that are real outside of my head, so I can draw a character, or cut pieces out of a magazine to bring them to life. Also so I can repair pages when I’ve accidentally torn them.

Lastly in this section are my variety of notepads, from large lined pads, to plain paper pads, to small note books. The one I use most currently is my little black moleskin book, which I jot notes and ideas in. Some are for stories I may never write, others are ideas for a poem, or a story I do plan on writing. Some are for stories I am writing, so I’ve got a record of the idea, and don’t just forget it and move on to the next idea when opportunity arises.

Software

Now in this category, I’ve also included my digital hardware, because it’s simpler.

Microsoft Word – you could replace this with OpenOffice’s version, or any number of similar products, I prefer Word because it suits me best, runs nicely, and has lots of the features I like. It’s where I do 99% of my word processing (though of late that’s dropped since I tend to write straight into my blog).

Paint Shop Pro 9 – never 10, I don’t like the environment in 10, and it tends to knock ten shades of hell out of my processing power. Paint Shop Pro 9 is nice and comfortable, has all the features I want, with a nice clean interface. Vista isn’t thrilled with it, because of the odd colour count Paint Shop Pro insists on, but otherwise it always runs fine. This is where I bring my drawings to life, I have a whole array of characters drawn from various stories, I scan them in, add colour, edit, redraw – I’ve learnt a variety of techniques over the years to refine my characters drawings to be more realistic. Yes, these characters exist in my head, but sometimes when it comes to describing something, having a physical manifestation in front of you is a tremendous boon. Plus you can make book covers, and pretend your story is good enough to be published.

Next up is FreeMind, a mind mapping utility which allows you to export in PDF, and SVG formats. I find mind mapping (or brainstorming if we distill it back to my school years), to be a very powerful tool. Though I may have a story in my head, using mind mapping, I can distill it down to all the best bits, then rebuild it into something better, more readable. It also keeps me organised when I’m slipping in focus.

In January I bought myself a Nokia E71, after having a touchscreen PDA for years that lacked a physical keyboard, it was a revelation. I can probably hit about 25 words a minute on my E71, though it does involve a lot of typo’s going that fast, having big thumbs and all. I got the update for QuickOffice, so it’s fully featured, and can handle my documents from my computer, allowing me to stick in an extra page or two on the bus. It also has notes, voice recorder, and camera (which can be used with ActiveNotes, so I can write why I thought to take a picture of something). Of course the calendar, contacts, and to do list come in very handy too for writing. A few of my characters now have entries in my phone contacts, and by syncing in calendar.

There’s also my trust little laptop, it’s a 10″ Advent Netbook, which I use for typing, and light internet use. I have two bigger laptops (a 13″ and a 17″), but this is the one I travel with, and do my writing on, because I can use it just about anywhere. I also have a 3g modem for it, which allows me the privilege of research anywhere as well, which is handy – it means you don’t neccessarily have to leave a break because you need to wait to get home to fill in some detail, or research something.

Well that rounds up my writing tool box for now – I will do future posts in regards to software specifically, and there will definately be Pen Porn – because Pen Porn is cool is amazing, and I can show off my pen collection some more.

To finish this article, I’d like to ask what’s in your writers toolbox?

* I’d say I have a fetish – but that has certain connotations these days, though my dictionary insists:  An inanimate object worshipped by savages; object of irrational reverence

** get your head out of the gutter, it’s things like one pen is for correcting, another for notation, another is for essays, and so on

That being said, it is possibly that I won’t be posting for a few days as I go away, however I will try to avoid this, as I really like keeping to a poem a day, and will be writing them, so it is only a minor hassle to fathom a way to post them.

Anyway, onto today’s poem – as I write this, I haven’t started writing the poem, this is coming straight out of my head and into the pages of this blog. No preparation, or hesitation.

The Gifts of Poets Gone

As I lay here, on the backs of giants,
Poetry forebearers that carried the skill into art,
Whose tireless efforts, and many a sacrifice,
Have given me today,
The bed upon which I lay.

By which I mean the literary warrants,
The rules, tempers, and heritages they impart,
For which I am able to add my words, spice,
And never say nay,
The words my mind may.

As I lay here dwelling in fragments,
Of poetry past and present, musing my part,
I have yet to play, indulging my vice,
I suffer no defray,
It will be words day.

©, Jonathan Lawrence 2009

I think this poem is relatively clear, and it’s source easy to identify (see my last blog post), it is also something I genuinely believe and hold dear. Though I am a pale imitation of their art, their skill, and their lives, I am no less beholden to them for the gifts they have given that have led me to where I am.

Where I imitate there style, where I borrow from their prose, I hope they would be flattered, and hope they would appreciate my gratitude.