Aspiring Blog Blog of an aspiring writer and poet with geekish tendancies

11Oct/090

A Neighbourhood To Call My Own…

Nostalgia is a funny thing - it's always there, and so much seems better than it really was, in memory, but when you actually sit down and examine in it, suddenly it's not so rosy. Like watching that old television show you remember as a kid, it might have seemed fantastic, amazing plots, brilliant characters - but in the light of day it was actually pretty shit. Of course, this is not always the case, and when it is not, it is a wonderful thing.

Right now, I am watching Magnum P.I., which let’s face it, is crass populist television, but at its best. I remember watching this show as a kid, and I've got to admit the Ferrari helped (I loved cars as a kid, mechanics son and all that), but even now it seems quite fun. It has aged better than say Knightrider.

That is not the reason for this post however, I am sure I could fire up a poem - but I ended up watching it after flicking through the channels in the mood for something nostalgic. It all started with an email, from Yahoo, they are closing down Geocities, and it was their umpteenth reminder that I should go and download my website there, or transfer it to their paid for hosting service.

1Oct/090

Spider Poem

As promised, however late I am, here is my spider poem - probably not the best thing I have ever written, but I'm just grateful to be writing again. Besides, I kind of like it, I like the bumbling nature of the poem, the over simplified complex structure couple with an end rhyme that has some very stretched rules.

If you enjoy it, let me know - but likewise if you have constructive feedback I'd welcome that too.

Later, I'll be using this poem as one of the sources for a post about editing poetry, so you never know, I may be back with a better version yet - but I still love this one.

16Jun/090

Poetry Practice: Day Eleven

My eleventh day of poetry practice, somewhat delayed after first having site issues, and then computer ones to boot. I'm not giving up, and I do have a back log of poetry to post, however I'm at work, so figured I'd write a quick one, and prove I'm still alive.

Disaster of a Dream

Soaring high above the world,
Glorious hue of unadultered blue,
Wisps of clouds stretching far beneath,
Breaks of green, and brown, and blue,
I am free, nothing can ever get to me here.

Feeling secure here, I swirled,
Blinded by beauty, I never had a clue,
My flight is at an end, I fall towards heath,
Panic flairs, my joy now seesm untrue,
I am trapped, falling to my death in fear.

Without warning, I am curled,
My workplace, twisted and strange,
An assault of vaunted ceilings, and a scary bar,
Signs of the office I know in the range,
I flee, this new world is out to get me.

The scene to Birmingham I'm hurled,
All about me recognised in change,
I bump into a scarey person with a scar,
He grabs me, we fall down a derange,
I hold on, he continues to fall free.

©, Jonathan Lawrence 2009

Now just a bit about this poem :

24May/090

Where’s the Inspiration?

A man walks onto the scene, he strolls with forced assuredness, yet you can read in his body language he's not as confident as he'd like to be, he eyes the megaphone in his hand cautiously, before coming to a step. He lifts the megaphone up, taps the small end, then raises it to his mouth, before clearing his throat, "Ahem!", then he queries, "Is this thing on?", his words boom out of the megaphone's big end. He laughs nervously in response to the annoyed stairs he receives.

The man stands there a few moments before finally seeming to get the confidence to raise the microphone to his mouth again, as he megaphone reaches position this time his cheeks take on a bit of velour, and his eyes seem ablaze, he takes a deep meaningful breath, and speaks into the megaphone,

"Right, listen up," now all eyes are on him, only they're attentive rather than annoyed, "I demand to know where my inspiration is! I think it's wholly unfair that you've abandoned me right now. I need you, I can't write without you. Without you these pages are blank, and what words come are empty.
"Inspiration I've never needed you so bad, I've got all these things to do, and you've abandoned me, given up the fight, and now I stand alone against the tide of battle.
"I beg you return to me your charm, your talent. Words are meaningless without you!"

The audience looks rapt, his words have moved them, they feel his desperation, and they ponder borrowing the megaphone.

The man looks down upon his audience, upon their swept up faces, he watches the emotions play across their faces. Then a thought dawns in his mind, a realisation, maybe even epiphany.

What the man realised was this - inspiration is hard to achieve, but it can hit at the strangest moments, and all you can do is find the nearest waiting apparatus and take advantage.

Everyone has different things that inspires them to write, and inspires what to write. For myself these are most often two different events, for others they might be most often the same.

There is also another possibility one without the other, which can either be liberating or frustrating, for example:

  • I may have a brilliant idea what to write, but no inspiration (will) to write it - so it all plays out in my head because try as I might I can't convert it into words. Obviously a form of writers block.
  • Something may give me inspiration (the will) to write, but without any inspiration. Here my mind, and the paper is ab empty canvas, and I can just let my thoughts flow freely. Probably doesn't make for great reading, but it's fun and liberating for me.

Everybody is different when it comes to inspiration, I know all too well what holds true for me, is complete gibberish to another. In broad strokes, I have probably captured the general forms of inspiration.

In terms of what inspires me to write (gives me the will), it falls down to three categories: the outdoors (nature, weather, scenery, architecture, etc...), other people's creativity (a book, a film, a piece of music, also biographical information about a creative person, or someone who's faced adversity in their life), and challenges (nothing gets my creative juices better than a bit of competition).

Sadly these things aren't guaranteed to get me writing, but most often once I start writing it's because I was inspired to by one of the above.

In terms of my inspiration what to write, it's usually something close to hand, something I've imagined happening, my emotional state (yes, I can be a bit emo in my poetry), or a need to impress others so I can belong, and validate myself.

I've written about many things, from religion to coke cans, from fantasyic tales to mundane moments of life, and from historical events to nature.

Sometimes my indpirations puts me on the path to something specific, sometimes it's just the starting point, or catalyst for a cascade of ideas.

I will say this, whatever the idea, I do love it when it happens, it's a veritable joy to let poetry over take me, a joy and love that only falls short of sex.

As I'm getting older, inspiration is getting harder - dry spells last longer, but when the floodgates open, I feel sure the joy is deeper, as I come to appreciate it more.

Still I would live in those moments more if I were able to, giving myself over to the wild abandon of inspiration.

So I feel abandoned when inspiration doesn't come, and call to it from my megaphone, hoping to attract it back. For me my megaphone is going to beautiful places, reading and listening to music, and entering challenges - hoping beyond hope, inspiration heads my call and answers.

That's what inspiration is to me.

24May/090

Poetry Practice: Day Ten

My tenth day of writing practice poems to get myself fit for competition.

Today we have one about the weather, which bears no relation to the weather experienced this weekend funnily enough.


Atmosphere Alight
Furous titans battle at the edge,
Tempestuous gods push back,
Might against might
The battle of nature rages.

Hurricanes battle warm fronts,
Thunder and lightening attack,
Atmosphere alight,
Man measures its puny gauges.

Rivers swell breaking banks,
Weather defences seem to lack,
Dangerous sight,
The battle for nature through ages.

22May/090

Poetry Practice: Day nine

Well today is day nine, I'm starting to feel good about writing poetry, well I always did, but having been away for nearly a year, I felt anxious about writing. I'm not a confident person, I'm honest, hard working, and caring - all great qualities but I lack confidence. Writing today's poem, I felt confident about writing poetry, and that is a fantastic feeling.

Anyway, here's today's poem:

Trumble

Trumble trumble
The train is speeding along the tracks,
Like the cliche it goes on and on,
It doesn't care how many poets pay tribute,
How could it? It's a train, it suffers no dispute,
Like the cliche it goes on and on,
Until age, fault, or accident attacks,
Trumble trumble.

Trumble trumble,
It might carry passengers or sacks,
Train doesn't care, just goes it's way,
For cheap fast long distance it suffers no substitute,
It's masters do, they're not nearly as astute,
They only care about getting more pay,
Preventing the goofd things train lacks,
Humble grumble.

©, Jonathan Lawrence 2009

Well we're back to political rantscommentary as poetry, throw in a bit of business, but mostly it's politically motivated. The train may not care about the state of British railways, but I do - between Labour and Conservatives, the railways have been turned into a wasteful, inefficient, unenjoyable, expensive and ill-fated form of travel. Why ill fated? Well if enough train companie go under, the rail network would grind to a halt - either someone wealthy would get wealthier running a shadow of the service, or it simply stops. The rail network, and it's subsidies, have been so artificially raised up, no government could take it back - though they'd happily pay as much to the wealthy hero to take over.

I'm grouchy - I love public transport, or loved is more accurate. Have such fantastic memories, and feelings of trains of old. By old I mean my relatively recent childhood - big black and white Intercity's with their golden stripe were always a mystery. I never got to go on one before they became GNER, then National Express trains. The design, and routes may not have changed, these cheap rip-offs, the amateur replacements are no match in my mind for the glorious behemoths of memories.

I remember going to the National Railway Museum in York as a child with my grandparents - if I loved the idea of the Intercities, this was where I was blown away. Amazing contraptions everywhich way, Mallards, and Stephenson's Rocket, walk through 30's 1st class carriages, and even take a short ride along the tracks, steam billowing from the front, distinctive whistles blaring.

I'm on a train now, a Pandolino (on mobile so not easy to check spelling), it doesn't compare, and though I have somewhere good to go, the journey isn't the same.

I should probably have written a second poem, this post deserved it, as did my memories. Maybe another time I'll revisit that passion.

20May/092

Poetry Practice: Day Seven

Well I'm now upto a week of writing daily poetry, it's going pretty well, I even managed an extra one on Monday - however it was so bad, I dare not let the rest of the world see it.

Today's poetry practice is brought to you by 12Seconds, the short video blogging site to which I just signed up. No idea what I'm going to do with a 12 seconds account, I'm not exactly photogenic, and my voice isn't great - but for 12 seconds, who cares? It's a bit of fun. Anyway, it's the inspiration for today's poem, and I've even done a 12 second version for 12Second, which will add after the poem itself.

12 Seconds...
"12 seconds you're on Mister Legend",
"Who me? I'm just well me",
"It's your 12 seconds Mister",
"Erm, what do I say?"
That woman with the camera,
She looked at me funny,
And then just laughed,
"You're 12 seconds is up Mister Legend,"
She said, with an impish giggle,
Indeed they were,
12 seconds flies by,
My 12 seconds of fame,
Good bye.

©, Jonathan Lawrence 2009


From 12seconds.tv

Video of me doing a 12 second version of this poem.

19May/090

Poetry Practice: Day six

As part of my aim to enter some poetry competitions, I have been practicing writing (hopefully getting better along the way). Today (Tuesday19th May) is day 6, so here’s today’s poem:

On Tom Welling

In regards to Tom Welling,
I'm reliably informed,
The actor of Superman to be,
Is hotness to the core,
His love for fellow man is to be admired,
His humility in the face of fame,
Well shames even the fameless.

A story telling,
I am impressed by his Clark,
Across fandom it has stormed,
I'm told the love he portrays,
For villanous Lex Luthor,
Will be a thing of a legend making,
That isn't the in my rules of the game,
I just love the hero making I guess.

©, Jonathan Lawrence 2009

I was struggling a bit today, didn't think I would make it for poem of the day, but hils came up with this idea, in response to my plea on Twitter. Now I do love Smallville, even as people are struggling with it - I think it's been better, but since watching the most recent episode, initially I thought I was more disappointed than anything else - but once my super random brain kicked in, I'd formulated at least a handful of brilliant points, and ideas where it could be going when it restarts in Autumn.

Anyway, this is a short poetic tribute to the shows main star, Tom Welling who plays Clark Kent, the Superman in the making.

Hope you enjoy.

19May/090

Music to Write To

I'm always on a quest for the perfect playlist to write to - but damn it the writing music keeps changing.

I love poetry and writing, and their sibling the song is no different (storytelling is the parent to me), they're all capable of evoking something within us. Sometimes they evoke the writer within, helping to unlock my core creativity.

I find that what music I'm listening to affects what I'm writing, I noticed this during last year's NaNoWriMo, I was in one of those places where I was banging out a few hundred words an hour, and actually progressing towards target. When I read back over my words, there was a pattern, I'd had Pachelbel's Canon in D on repeat, (equally a crap and great piece of music in one - perfect writing music though),  my writing had taken on that structure, from number of words per sentence,  to roughly where the capitals were placed, and as I read it through, you could kind of feel Canon behind it. You have to be careful though, I would imagine if you're half way through  a 75,000 word novel, and feel of the writing suddenly changes, that's going to make it seem disjointed.

18May/090

Poetry Practice: Day five

As part of my aim to enter some poetry competitions, I have been practicing writing (I'm a touch rusty). Today (Monday 18th May) is day 5, so here's today's poem:

Sleep Protector

Lie down in velvet shadows,
Find warmth in the heavy presence,
Wrap yourself in the love we share,
Feel our protection from the darkness,
I will be there for now by your side,
You need not fear this deep night,
As we rest in peaceful slumber,
Enjoy.

Rise in caramel illumination,
Flood awareness flood to your senses,
Find your way out of your downy care,
Avoid realising your profound cureless,
In your dreams to yourself you lied,
Found comfort away in the fright,
I'm a figment in the dream of forever,
Sorry.

©, Jonathan Lawrence 2009

This is a really sad poem, it starts off sounding romantic, but it's almost unreal. A couple go to bed, nice and romantic, but only one talks, sooths, the other offers no reaction, but to fall asleep. My intention was to invoke the feeling of a night guardian, he stands watch over our fateful sleeper.

I don't know about you, but I long for that - it's almost a magical romantic ideal. Which the second verse reveals is the truth. I would feel a prodound sense of loss at realising this dream wasn't real, but can you be sure can you? The figment apologised - which to me, says that maybe this phantom protector is real, but gone when you awake.